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jennifer lawrence: food
tumblr: OMG XD SHE SAID FOOD!!! I EAT FOOD TOO!!!! SHES PRACTICALLY TUMBLER XDDDDD!!!!
(This is the first time in my life I’ve ever ranted, vented, or talking about any of this stuff all at once but if I don’t do it now I will lose the little bit of sanity left so forgive me) I’m extremely overwhelmed right now on the start if life right now. From abuse, to isolation to depression to trying to pick up the pieces I can’t even keep up with how fast life is going. I’m trying to change things from years in the making along with everyday things that pile up and I’m suffocating not just from asthma or anxiety or even that tight clenching feeling in your chest. I really feel like I can’t catch a break here. The guy I’ve loved for years who i’ve been on and off with at this point does not like me back and I’m here thankful for his happiness but it kills me knowing I couldn’t make it. It’s selfish but i’ve tried so hard even with my own stuff going on just to be there for him and he tells me how pretty and wonderful I am but i’m not enough. The guy I gave a chance on ended up going from Mr. Gentleman to Sir Effortless. I’ve known this guy since elementary school and now the only way to get him to even acknowledge me is with drugs or sex. I just want someone to make an effort for me. I have standards. I’m human. I feel alone, just like everyone does but I can’t escape it. Whether a chemical imbalance or me reverting back to being a hermit I feel more lonely than I ever have in my whole life. When I’m not hanging out with someone or occupying myself I’m stuck in my brain. When not stuck in my brain i’m stuck in this town on the outskirts of everything where every bit of bad memories is just around the corner. Life is right there and I can look but I just can’t touch. So please, summer vacation. Please give me a break. Life, let something be in the places I can’t reach that will make it all worthwhile. Give me something to work with here. Someone? Somewhere? Please?
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